Domestic Violence
Transformation & Sustainability Program

Domestic violence is a pattern of abusive and controlling behaviors in any relationship that is used by one partner to gain or maintain power and control over another intimate partner.

Domestic violence can impact people of all race, age, gender, sexuality, religion, education level, economic status, belief systems or values can be  a victim — or perpetrator — of domestic violence. That includes behaviors that physically harm, intimidate, manipulate or control a partner, or otherwise force them to behave in ways they don’t want to, including through physical violence, threats, emotional abuse, psychological abuse, gaslighting, sexual abuse, financial control and more (www.thehotline.org). Remember, domestic violence is about POWER AND CONTROL. It is not an illness. It is not a disease. It is a CHOICE.

Multiple forms of abuse are usually present at the same time in abusive situations, and it’s essential to understand how these behaviors interact so you know the signs of an abuse relationship. 

Red Flags of an Abusive Relationship

It is not always easy to tell at the beginning of a relationship if it will become abusive. In fact, many abusers may seem “perfect” on the surface as if they are the dream partner in the early stages of a relationship. Possessive and controlling behaviors do not always appear overnight, but rather emerge and intensify as the relationship grows. According to the National Domestic Violence Hotline, here are some red flags that you may be in an abusive behavior:

• Extreme jealousy of your family, friends or any time you spend away from them

• Preventing you from making your own decisions (i.e. about working, going to school, etc.)

• Always making you feel that you cannot do anything right

• Pressuring you to do things you are not comfortable with such as sexual acts, drinking or drug use

• Intimidating you and making you feel scared or like you're constantly "walking on eggshells"

• Threatening to take your kids away, cut you off financially, have you deported, or other drastic measure if you leave

• Threatening to kill you or themselves

If you are in a life-threatening situation, please dial 9-1-1

If you need to talk, call the 24/7 National Domestic Violence Hotline 888-799-SAFE (7223)

If you think you may be in an abusive relationship, you are not alone! There are resources that can help you.